I’m not hating on Mother Nature, but isn’t it about time she takes a week off? The wildfires, tsunamis, and floods weren’t enough? You had to pad your resume’ yesterday with a tornado in Massachusetts?
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Now don’t get me wrong, the tornadoes in Joplin, Missouri, last week were much worse.
But tornadoes in Missouri - and across the midwest - are fairly common. It’s a fact of science that sometimes, clouds feel so bad for the dust particles that are stuck in places like Oklahoma and Nebraska that they form a visible condensation tunnel that literally comes out of the sky, picks them up, and takes them somewhere else.
Basically, if you were a dust particle, a tornado is like the second coming. Which may explain why Harold Camping was so adamant about the impending Rapture, given that he is mostly just dried-up dust particles at this point. Not hating, just saying.
So really, tornadoes across the midwest are pretty defensible. I’m not hating on Mother Nature for those. But deadly tornadoes in...Massachusetts? Really? You couldn’t just keep killing people in Massachusetts with 8-foot snow drifts, or from the deaths caused by gay people being allowed to marry each other?
(Just so you don’t think I’m lying, my source for that is an e-mail chain forwarded to me by my other-than-racist-emails-they’re-off-the-grid cousins. Totally legit. Also, why is Obama growing watermelons in front of the White House?)
Killer tornadoes in Massachusetts? Really, Mother Nature? I don’t agree with this move. Unless...hmmm...
UNLESS you had to injure hundreds of people in Massachusetts to show them getting treated in hospitals on the same day that Mitt Romney announced he’s running for President - thus acting as a reminder that while governor of Massachusetts, Romney signed a universal healthcare bill that provides free healthcare for all state citizens? And reminding people that inexplicably, he’s been passionately against the healthcare bill signed by President Obama, even though it’s essentially the same system that Romney signed and that is helping tornado victims receive the assistance they need in this time of crisis?
Okay, I doubt that’s it. Maybe she’s just a big fat jerk. But so is Romney. Not hating, just saying.