Hater of the Week: China

I’m not hating on China, I’m just saying that this is ridiculous.

Too lazy to click on that link? Well, this picture should help:

That’s right - China is going through a phase where it’s all the rage to dye your pets like other animals. So dogs become pandas or tigers, or whatever other endangered species the Chinese don’t want to be bothered with actually keeping alive.

That’s right, China. Don’t think you’re fooling anyone. We know that panda’s days are numbered - thanks in large part to the 1.25 billion of you that have destroyed their natural habitat - and now, you think you can pull a fast one on the rest of us?

Nice try. But we’re not going to let you just swap those pan-dogs in for the real thing, Indiana-Jones-Temple-of-Doom style. We’re going to notice. So don’t even think about it.

AND! What are you doing, China!? You’re clearly stealing from us - America. Yeah, you remember us? The country that came up with the whole idea of having so much money that you waste it in ways that make the entire rest of the world hate you? That’s our move! You’re stealing our move!!

Frankly, forget the debt ceiling. This is more of an indicator that we’ve been surpassed by China than anything that statistics could ever say. How did we fall asleep on this one? How are we not the asshole country that shits on the 3rd world by dyeing our pets to look like other animals??

That’s a horrible idea. It reaks of irresponsibility, and a complete lack of awareness of what that money could do for the poorest of the poor around the world. IT’S THE MOST AMERICAN IDEA EVER!!!

I’m not hating on you, China, I’m just saying. Well done. Add it to the list of things you’re better at than us - right below brutally repressive regimes and sneaking 12 year-old gymnasts into the Olympics and saying they’re 16.

Not hating, just saying.