I'm not hating, but Snuggies clearly are. First of all, what the hell is this?! And second of all, I don't need to tell you that Snuggies are hating on blankets. The Snuggie isn't fufilling any need. The blanket was never hard to use; if your blanket didn't cover you all the way, then all you had to do was find a bigger blanket. Sweaters and sweatshirts work as well, but it was always nice to curl up with a blanket. Now, everyone wants to curl up in a backwards coat that makes you look like you are in a cult.
That commercial is ridiculous. They show someone with a regular old nasty blanket trying to use their landline phone, but alas! The blanket makes it so you have to take your lazy-ass arms out from underneath the blanket to talk on it. Easy solution: get a cell phone like everyone else the past 20 years, and put it on speaker. How can you be so technologically advanced with your blanket game, but you're still sporting that Zach Morris-looking landline phone? It doesn't make any sense. And dammit, I don't trust it.
Hey prospective buyers of the Snuggie...let me ask you a question. When was the last time that blankets were handed out to strangers in mass quantities? Oh, maybe you don't remember? That's because anyone who received a blanket died weeks after getting it. Yeah...I'm pretty sure it was when settlers handed out small pox-infested blankets to Native Americans and basically wiped their race off the face of the Earth. Let's see if your little arm-holes protect you from genocide, because small pox ain't some shit you can wipe off with a ShamWow. So beware the Snuggie cult, is all I'm saying. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Not hating, just saving millions of lives.
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10 comments:
Man you dudes live in the past. A cell phone on speaker phone? I'm sure if you are lazy enough to complain about not having free hands under your blanky, you are probably one of those douchebags who sits on bluetooth when at home. Now if informercials sold something useful, like someone to come to your house to punch you for using a bluetooth on the couch, you lazy piece of shit.
I guess I've already drank the Kool-Aid, because I think Snuggies are magical. In fact, I told my boyfriend that he could propose with a Snuggie instead of a diamond ring when the time came.
Downbeat, you should know that in cults you are never supposed to drink the Kool-Aid! They have already brain washed you! Run away! Save yourself!
Not to hate, but Zack's phone was a cellphone, the land line in the snuggie commercial was just a normal land line that didn't look a thing like Morris's phone. That's some unnecessary reference hate or Family Guy hate.
Bryson - not hating, just saying your blog is amazing. PS - they featured the snuggy on the Today show yesterday - I can say there's northing scarier than waking up to Al Roker looking like Obi Wan Kenobi.
Michael, You just couldn’t help but to hate all over yourself, by saying that I made an “unnecessary reference hate” followed immediately by what you deem a “Family Guy Hate” which ironically, is a completely unnecessary reference. Either you just Boomerang hated all over yourself or you are a metahumor genius. But I'm pretty sure you are not a genius. Needless to say, I am not hating.
Well done, Shawn. Your comment was something called a "Trail-Off Hate." Or, it's possible you were trying to execute a "Fragment Hate." To be honest with you dude, I'm not really sure what you were going for. But then, that's the whole point of a Fragment Hate - we can't refute it, because you never finished your point. Well played, sir. Well played.
I prefer to call it 'totally missing the obvious hate'. It was clear that the author missed the technological advance called bluetooth. I was merely bringing this oversight to the forefront. I was also commenting that anyone who uses this advancement in technology deserves to be punched. I'd like to think we all agree on that.
Actually, I will agree with both of the points you clarified - that bluetooth users should be punched in the face, and that John clearly missed an opportunity to say so himself. Nice hate.
The Snuggie Cult likes to drink... http://www.snuggiepubcrawl.com/Locations/DC/
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