M.I.A.'s Grammys Dress

I'm not hating on M.I.A.'s dress at the Grammys last night, I'm just saying that if you were ever curious what it would look like if Beeteljuice's suit fucked a clown suit and they had a suit-baby, now we know. (Worth watching all the way through, if only to see both of The Rock's attempts at jokes)

Hey M.I.A. - in the re-mix, don't worry about telling us you get high like planes - we know. I'm not saying that dress was inappropriate, but I now think that octuplets lady is a more responsible mom than you. I'm not saying that dress was too revealing, but at one point I actually saw part of your unborn child. I'm not saying your dress was embarrassing, but I would rather have gone with Chris Brown.

Look, pregnant women are beautiful, and when I get all the women pregnant that I choose to, I'll want them to feel like they are beautiful objects that I can point to as trophies. Why? Because I'm a gentleman, that's why. Still...that doesn't mean I want them wearing a dress that looks like the face of a frowning, blob-shaped cow. I never thought I'd say this, but you would have looked better in a bubble dress. Not hating, just saying.

(Runner-ups for things I'm not hating on from the Grammys: The Rock's writers...Whitney Houston's ability to speak...3-and-a-half-hour shows in general)


Not Hating program note: Octuplets lady Hate Update will be posted at 3 p.m. EST today.