I'm not hating on That Octuplets Lady - the one who just had eight babies at once in California this week - I'm just saying that she might be the most selfish person in America.
Listen. A lot of people are going to be throwing around the world "heroic" to describe her in the next few weeks. Don't be fooled. This lady is an idiot. Did you know she already had six kids before the octuplets? Do you realize how fucked up that is? That means that she and her husband had birthed six kids in the past seven years, and decided that fertility treatment was necessary. It's understandable that they wouldn't bother having sex, because her vagina is probably the equivalent of the bottom loop in Skeet Ball at Chuck E. Cheese's. Although ironically, the couple would probably have been better off if they'd played a different version of skeet ball.
6 kids in 7 years, and you were like "Nature is so unfair to us! We deserve better!" No. No you fucking don't. You're fucking idiots. Do you see anyone else with that many kids? No. You know why? Because they're too busy doing shit with their lives. I fucking...say...you.
Look. I have nothing against this thoughtless idiot white-trash couple that represents everything that is wrong and evil about America and our arrogant nature of thinking that we are the center of the Universe and there are never any consequences to our selfish, short-minded actions (not hating). I think that all 14 of her kids should be able to grow up healthy, and happy, and they should have a chance at happiness. However, their mother, father, and 12 of their friends need to be murdered immediately. And violently. I'm just saying.
I can't even make this funny because I (don't) hate these people so much. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to. Did you know they didn't know there were going to be 8 babies? They literally didn't even notice the 8th baby growing inside of her. IT'S 2009!! And there was an extra human being inside of her that doctors had no idea about. They had a fucking litter. This lady only has two nipples, which means that at best, six of these kids are going to be sucking on th
e teet of Uncle Sam in one way or another.
Did you know that the kids are surviving thanks to donated breast milk? Does anyone else see how fucked up this is, or am I just the asshole? If so, I'll take the hit. Look, lady, if you can't feed your kids, they need to die. That's basic Darwinian shit. That's nature telling you that you're not going to be able to raise them all. So fucking gather up your fourteen kids in a room, pick two or three of your favorites, and then drop the rest off at a Nebraska hospital, like the rest of the midwest has been doing lately.
I have to stop. Because if I keep going, I'm going to hate her. She's my Hate Kryptonite. I apologize, readers. I can't do it today. I need a breather.
To be continued?
Friday, January 30, 2009
That Octuplets Lady
Posted by Bryson at 9:06 AM
Labels: babies, Darwin, Hate Kryptonite, ignorance, Native Americans, Octuplets, selfishness, Skee Ball, white trash
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12 comments:
Did you also hear that the other 6 kids and the family live at home with grandma? Makes it even more heartwarming. Barf.
Yeah! And did you see what the grandpa said? About how they have a huge house and that the media will never find out where it is? Is he serious? Are they going to raise the kids in the Bat Cave? How white trash do you have to be to think that your daughter and her eight kids are going to be able to live somewhere, and you're going to visit them all the time, and they'll visit you all the time, but the media will still never be able to crack the case of the secret mystery house? Sorry grandpa, but this isn't a Hardy Boys book. This is a place called reality. Though I don't blame you for thinking this is an alternate universe, because your daughter just had eight babies sardined into her vagina. That would make me question a few things, too.
I'm not hating, just saying.
Good call Stacey. And also, if she couldn't handle not living with her parents with 6 kids, what makes you think that 14 is going to make it easier for her? She'll be back at her parents' house in no time. I thought this girl had 14 kids. Wrong. Actually, now her parents just have 15.
Thanks for the input, Stacey. Though you shouldn't hate like that. You could really learn from us. We say, but never hate. You hated, and I hope you die for it. I hope you die a slow, horrible, ironic death, in which you start getting buried under the countless babies that fall out of that woman's vagina, until you start to suffocate under the 100 babies this lady will eventually have, and then drown in all the metric tons of the donated breast milk that people give said babies.
Not hating, just saying.
This is probably your best post to date.
Bryson, you're missing one VERY important fact. This lady doesn't even HAVE A HUSBAND!!! Nope, she's single. She says she just loves kids and wanted to have a lot of them. So to recap, 14 kids, 1 parent. IDIOT! Why would any doctor let this woman do this?!
Yeah, I admit we don't do our full research before we write this blog (but that really should have been clear after our 'Japanese Scientists' post). I pretty much just wrote this one immediately after reading the first article I found on it. How stupid of me to assume that this lady wouldn't be horribly irresponsible and have had six pregnancies and 14 children without a man in the picture.
Oh, and if someone is out there reading this and your instincts tell you that that's somehow sexist, then just shut up. If a dude had 14 kids without a mom, I'd say he's an idiot, too. This has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with the fact that this lady is a moron.
Also I am working on a second post for this story; I've just been so blinded by rage (very different than hate, obviously) that it's taking me a minute to gather my thoughts. Look for it Monday morning.
Oh, and thanks for the help, Natalie. Though you should be careful - that was almost a Fact-Checker Hate, and it was kind of a Murphy's Hate...which means you were kind of doing a bit of Hate Stacking. Still, your point is genuine, so we'll let it slide. Keep up the good hate. The good work. I meant work.
second post please!
haha sorry for the delay, Jarrod. There was just an inordinate amount of things to hate on this week. But the issue is not dropped, I promise you. (And I think we all know how valuable our promises are, here at NHJS)
Yeah, this woman makes me sick. It's almost like being a whore with 6 kids and then wanting more. Who in their right mind would be supportive of this? I am so sick and tired of the continuous publicity she is getting. Knowing she is unemployed, single and already has 6 kids what about the clinic or whatever that even allowed for this to happen. I think it is all sick and wrong. Sorry for my hateful comments but I am just disgusted with this. Also what about those who can't have children but have jobs and are married. She should have been clipped a long time ago, if you know what I mean.
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