We're not hating, but South Africa has lifted a 13-year ban on killing elephants this week. That's why we are lifting up our fingers to type this so that we could tell you that South Africa is this week's Hater of the Week. The Associated Press reports that South Africa is now going to legally let people shoot and kill elephants. Why, do you ask? Oh - because they are no longer on the verge of extinction. I guess that it was unsatisfactory to the South African Government that these big guys weren't endangered anymore. What's the strategy? Keep them endangered to raise awareness of their endangerment? I just confused myself with that statement, but I don't think South Africa is confused at all.
First of all, South Africa how are you going to claim the whole Southern part of Africa with your name? Why are you hating on Zimbabwe, Namibia, and Botswana just to name a few. Are they not in "South Africa." Do you know how hard it is for them to explain to people where their country is? "No I'm from Zimbabwe, it's in South Africa....No not South Africa, but South...Africa, you know what mean, right?" Not to mention you have basically eaten and swallowed Lesotho and Swaziland. Other countries watch out, South Africa will probably try to eat you too. How are you ALL of South Africa? That's like Mexico saying it's gonna call itself Central America or South North America, and that is just stupid. Everyone knows it should call itself "Bottom of America." Ok, and I'm not sure we're talking about geography anymore.
Look, "South Africa," I know you guys have a decent number of Elephants, but it's not like elephants are pigeons. They are not hanging out, crapping on statues, and if they did...well then I guess you would have some pretty disgusting statues. My point is that Kenya doesn't have a bunch of Elephants running around and they are trying to get some, why don't you throw them an elephant or two, son? Why are you so selfish? I mean, shit - if you're just going to kill them, then just give me an elephant for Christ's sake. You are not letting anyone play just because you own the ball! And you are crushing everyones fun by crying and taking it home and apparently killing it.
You can't just start killing things because they are alive. Elephants didn't do anything to anyone, except almost die. Are you trying to make your own version of a sick sequel like "Elephant Extinction: Reloaded" or some shit? Seriously, South Africa, you guys have enough problems with humans- I think you should leave the Elephants alone. You are not even 20 years removed from apartheid and you want to start killing shit? Maybe you should put elephants in their own little part of the country not to intermingle with anyone else…you guys seem to have some experience with that. We're not hating, we're just saying...that South Africa is our Hater of the Week.