Hello again, world. Many of you have wondered why we've taken such a long break. Some people have actually been hating the fact that we took a break at all. Basically, we hit a wall of hate and didn't know how to just say. And when we first made this site, we wanted - above all else - to make sure we didn't encourage or condone hating of any kind. Do you know what we mean? If you don't quite get it, then here: look at one of the last "think tank" sessions we had prior to our hi-hate-us, which we would often have in order to think of new things not to hate. It will perhaps give our readers a small glimpse into the fine line between hating and saying.
Warning: the derogatory remarks used here don't necessarily reflect the views of the Not Hating Just Saying blog or anyone associated with them.
Seaton: I was searching through netflix
instant play catalog and guess what I found? Muthafucking AirWolf. Air Wolf son! AIRWOLF! Can't you hear the theme song in your head right now? AIRWOLF! What if I had a hate on the networks for canceling Airwolf? How silly would that be? "Yeah I'm saying. Sure I'm like 20 years late, but that don't make it right! Internment camps was 60 years ago, that don't make that one right."
John: I don't know what that shit is either
John: that's lame, you're lame. i didn't know you could blow a helicopter, but apparently you can
Bryson: have fun blowing your helicopter. you're a helosexual. and that's weird.
Seaton: hating. that's all there is in this world. Is just hating! you fucking hating bitches. I hate back.
John: I'm sorry but when you jerk off to air wolf, do you imagine you are in the helicopter, or just standing like on a helipad? how does that work? Pervert
Seaton: when you imagine my balls in your mouth do you make a helicopter sound?
John: When you imagine having sex with AirWolf...uh..the helicopter...Does AirWolf squirt oil all over your face? Unleaded?
Seaton: it's diesel. And when you're thinking about having your perverted dreams with my balls, do you imagine cooking me eggs afterward or do you want to cuddle? sensitive bitch!
John: When you are blowing AirWolf, what do you cup with your non-jerking hand? Also, while tossing AirWolf's salad, how do you avoid burning your lips while you have them so tightly wrapped around his exhaust pipe?
Bryson: is it possible to deepthroat a helicopter? how do you negotiate the blades? is it hotter for you if you blow it while it's running? Please, share with us your knowledge of H-jobs.
Seaton: i would love to but i'm on a tight schedule, and I know how you turn into a little bitch when people rush you to stick to deadlines.
Bryson: haha wow, taking it a different direction. trying to break john and i up with a wedge hate? sorry, we are united in our monkey in the middle hate of you right now. which reminds me - what if they made a series of movies about your helicopter boyfriend, just like they did with Air Bud. Would you blow the helicopter in the locker room before all its high school basketball games? or would you wait until after the game, beneath the bleachers? or would you give the helicopter cock a "halftime speech" of sorts?
Seaton: I would blow the helicopter as many times as you are late to something. so i guess that's everyday. No, I would let the helicopter teabag me as much as the times you'll say you'll be somewhere then come an hour later. I will give the helicopter a rusty trombone for every time you call, then come late, then once you get there zone out and leave early. And John likes to touch little boys. at the zoo.
John: Seaton you should start your own blog called "not hating, just blowing a cartoon helicopter until it spews its sweet sweet oil all over my face."
Bryson: Sorry, I would be on time everywhere Seaton, but it's tough when you have to walk places. If only I had a way to get myself places quicker. A helicopter would do it, for instance. But then, even if I knew where a helicopter was, how could i convince it to take me around everywhere? I'd have to do it a lot of favors. And I'd probably have to like it. But then, I don't do that type of thing. So sometimes I'm late. That's right - I may seem irresponsible, but actually it's just because I respect myself enough not to be some helicopter's bitch.
John: haha i don't know why this shit is so much fun to me, but it is. I guess because it is just hating, in its purest form no rationale at all.
And, scene.
(We'd like to point out that this was an actual conversation, had via e-mail, between the non-haters on this site, that has since been transcribed. Given that, it is clear that it is our destiny to not hate. And therefore, thanks in part to the tens of fans who have hounded us to once again post our hate for the world (except most of the media-oppressed East) to see, we will be back soon. That's right, fellow sayers -
NEW AND IMPROVED 'NOT HATING JUST SAYING' COMING SOON!
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4 comments:
Brilliant.
Oooh where do I start...
First of all, Airwolf is not a cartoon. She is real.
Second of all, all helicopters are female so your entire exchange is based on misinformation.
Third of all, I missed you and am glad to see the hate... er, non hate... resume.
Matthew: I will acknowledge, after consulting with Wikipedia, that Airwolf was indeed a live-action, female helicopter. John and I simply assumed it was male based on Seaton's undying love for it.
I believe, however, that you may have some misinformation as well. ALL helicopters are female, Matthew? Really? I don't mean to insult your intelligence, but then how do new helicopters get made?
Stop being childish, Matt, and face the facts: Male helicopters have sex with female helicopters, and that's how new helicopters are born. Anybody who doesn't know that is an idiot. I'm not hating on how stupid you are, I'm just saying.
Oh, and one more thing: You also dropped this nugget of ignorance in your comment. In regards to Airwolf, you claimed that, and I quote: "She is real."
Couple problems with that. First of all, you put your claim in the present tense. You claimed that a character from a mid-to-late 80's television show "is" "real", suggesting not only that a completely fictitious entity was in fact living and breathing, but that, despite it having been cancelled for over twenty years, it is somehow still going strong. This would be the equivalent of me having Alf show up at my apartment tonight, him waxing poetic about Melmac, then eating my cat, and then telling me my pants were on fire (which inexplicably CRUSHED in the 80's), and me not being surprised in the least.
"Of course Alf came over and hung out. He is real."
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah - have fun getting sloppy seconds after Seaton finishes blowing Airwolf's dick. I'm not hating, I'm just saying.
(p.s. Thanks...it's good to be back.)
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