Any Black Comedy That Came Out After Friday

I’m not hating, but any black comedy that came out after Friday sucks. Two words: Soul Plane. I didn’t even see that pile of shit, but I think that I am perfectly justified in hating on it. You want to know why? Because I dare anyone, any one of you, to publicly announce that you saw it AND liked it. I dare you. I won’t even have to clown you for it, there will be an army of people waiting in line just to shit all over you. In fact I could start a political party called "Soul Plane Sucks" and its only platform is to spread the word about how much Soul Plane sucks. I am pretty sure we would at least beat Kucinich, possibly take out Nader in a head to head. I mean, that movie had Tom Arnold in it. That movie had TOM ARNOLD in it! THAT MOVIE HAD TOM ARNOLD IN IT!!! I could rest my case right there, but there is more.

You tried with Next Friday. Seriously, good job fellas. Chris Tucker wasn’t even in that shit! Then you made ANOTHER one without Chris Tucker in it. What were you thinking? And why does every plot in black comedies now always revolve around a cookout? That is just offensive. I know black people do more than just sit around and eat pork and shit. But you make it hard to tell when you have big ass Monique in every black comedy since Friday. I mean Jesus Christ, you can’t find any other big black chick that thinks that she is much sexier then she actually is? I can go out right now and find like 12 of them. But why the hell would I go and do that? They are extremely annoying.

Oh and is John Weatherspoon the only old black dude left on the planet? Seriously? Is he the only one left? My uncle can yell out “Bang bang bang!” at any moment. Especially if you pay him to do it.

Oh and I will never forget about Juwanna Man! Juwanna Man!? I think I actually hate you for that one, black comedies that came out after Friday. I really hate you. What a slap in the face. Do you know the plot of Juwanna Man!? Unfortunately, I do. Basically, a male basketball player for the local NBA team gets suspended and then A WEEK LATER, a phenomenal female star that looks exactly like the dude who just got suspended from the NBA league, shows up on the WNBA team in the same city. Not a single person notices - not one. Not only does the WNBA just have a new player, but this player can dunk, is the best player the WNBA has ever seen, and oh yea, she looks EXACTLY like that dude who just got suspended a week earlier from the NBA team.

Now, you want us to believe that some dude playing basketball fools everyone into thinking that he is a women’s basketball player by putting on a wig? I do understand that some real women that play in the WNBA look suspiciously like dudes, but they don’t have a male twin that plays for the NBA team in the same city. So even if we are dumb enough to buy that garbage, you want us to think that it is funny, too? Don’t insult us! If you own a DVD of Juwanna Man, I want you to break it in half and then stick the jagged edge of the disc into your stomach. I don’t care if you got it as a gift because if you did then you should have broken it in half and stuck the jagged edge of it into the stomach of the person who gave it to you. Oh yea, and Vivica Fox was in Juwanna Man, the only good movie that she was ever in was Kill Bill, but that is mainly because she dies right at the beginning. I’m not hating black comedies that came out after Friday…I’m just saying.